Amy Ward Brimmer

mother daughter wife teacher writer dreamer sister worker seeker activist minister healer student human
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts

1.04.2017

Three Words for 2017

Last year I began the practice of choosing three words to inform and guide my life for 2016. They were Prosperity, Interdependence, and Love. During the year I set the intention to notice how these three concepts showed up in various ways, and looked for ways to deepen my understanding of what they mean and how they operate.

Prosperity was the easiest one to work with, perhaps because it is tangible and not esoteric. I expected to learn about ways that are prosperous, and how that might be different from financial wealth. Things like an increase in public recognition of my work was a sign of prosperity, as was the wonderful, generous outpouring of financial support for my MBSR training fund. (You can still give, until January 15, here: https://www.gofundme.com/AmyMBSR) I prospered in positive feedback, in skill development, in deepening connections with others. I confirmed what I suspected when I chose Prosperity: you don't have to be rich to prosper.

Interdependence was so beautiful to work with. This is the most wonderful reality of life, the way we need one another for our well-being. This is not just healthy psychology or sound philosophy, it is nature. Interdependence describes the foundation of all life. Trees, for example, use an intricate network of roots, spores, etc. to communicate and help other trees thrive, because when one tree thrives, they all do. That is true for all life forms, including humans. So in a year that saw the worst effects of polarization, petty hatred, and an "I got mine" mentality, the need for recognizing interdependence has never been more important or relevant. I sought out, and was blessed to experience, many instances of interdepent life. Everything's connected.

Love? Well, love could be the watchword every year. It's still a mystery to me, and as far as I can tell it is the reason we are here. I think life human life is a course -- a doctoral-level course -- in love. I (re)discovered some qualities of love, such as the fact that when love is present it makes you want to move closer to another person rather than farther away, or it makes it less impossible to do so. When there's love in the equation, courage arises, or compassion, or openness and flexibility. Love makes one stronger, more clear, more willing and able. This is why Michelle Obama encourages us to "go high when they go low." This is why Jesus advises us to love our enemies, because in the act of bringing love into the mix, we ourselves change (not sure what it does for the enemy). And of course there's romantic love, sexual love, spiritual love, friendly love, love for the earth, and so on. Love takes many forms and it's been an eye-opener to recognize love in action.

For 2017 -- a year that arrives full of foreboding and determination in equal measure -- I have chosen three words that hold huge potential for personal growth. Like last year, I'm choosing concepts that are a bit daunting. If I want to experience and cultivate these elements, I will need to make some pretty big changes. Part of my discernment process was to identify the words that scared me the most or made me react by contracting. That's often a sign that I'm at my growing edge. I also wanted to notice which words intrigued me the most, what ideas I was willing to explore thoroughly and consistently through the year. It's no surprise that in each case, I am both curious and afraid. How like life!

My three words for 2017 are (drumroll please):


  • Simplicity
  • Power
  • Forgiveness

  • I'll be writing more about each as the year unfolds, but for now I will say that I chose Simplicity because I tend to over-complicate things and burden myself unnecessarily, and I want to stop doing that. Simplicity is one of the "Quaker Spices" or shared testimonies of our faith, and in my opinion, the least understood or followed by Quakers. Mostly, though, I want to understand my own lack of trust in the simple way.

    Power was sort of a no-brainer. The power grab in the U.S. by neo-Nazi elements, the myth of "people power" in an election run by the corporate oligarchy, the stories I keep hearing about how disempowered people feel, the lack of justice for people of color and women and immigrants -- it's all a swirly mass of fear and craving about who's got the power. So I am super motivated this year to learn about what constitutes true power. Stay tuned, I think we're all apt to learn about this in 2017.

    Forgiveness feels a little like Love, in that it is universal and absolutely necessary for a peaceful life. My immediate task is to cultivate forgiveness for myself, even as I seek to learn better how to forgive others. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions but I did renew my vow to recognize when I am being unkind or oppressing myself, and then to stop and extend some compassion my way.

    Like signposts along the way, my three words guide and even nudge me towards more fully awakening to life. May 2017 provide you with guidance and encouragement as you too seek awakening.

    1.29.2016

    Three Words

    I have decided to experiment with a way of framing my work and life this year, an approach which has often been suggested to me from sources both personal (people who know me well) and professional (experts who do not). I’ve resisted this advice in the past, feeling like it’s gimmicky or limiting somehow. Over the past few weeks, however, I’ve quietly tried it out and it feels helpful. It is simply this: choose three words for 2016 that will guide and inform everything you do.

    One blogger, Chris Brogan, recently caught my attention as the latest to recommend this practice. The idea is that the three words inform decision-making, serve as touchstones during uncertainty or confusion, and challenge me to ask deeper questions about my motivations and assumptions. Chris points out the advantage of choosing three words over several or just one: the power of triangulation. Each of the words (or more accurately, the concepts behind the words) reinforce the other two and are in turn nuanced by them.

    Choosing my three words was a wonderfully insightful process. I saw more clearly what I value, what I feel I lack, what I’m good at, what scares me, and what brings me satisfaction. That alone was worth it, and you might consider what three words you would choose, even if you don’t plan on holding yourself to them all year. In considering several options, I intended to strike a balance between small, specific action words (“build”) and large, universal ideas (“compassion”), but I’ve ended up with some mighty big, slightly intimidating words, and that’s okay. My three words feel friendly and demanding in equal measure, and I’m surprised at how easy it has been to turn toward them without effort when I need to.

    My three words for 2016 are:
    • Prosperity 
    • Interdependence 
    • Love
    Rather fundamental, especially the last one. I will be writing about each of the three in the coming weeks, and about how relating to them or using them as guiding forces plays out in my developing work. For now, here’s some working definitions and a few initial thoughts on each.

    Prosperity - a successful, flourishing, or thriving condition. Good fortune, success, profitability, affluence, wealth, ease, plenty.

    This makes me quite anxious, and I have my Spiritual Accountability Group to thank for that. They rightly challenged me to take a good hard look at this, and now I’m motivated to end my ambivalence about money and success and seek to understand what it truly means to prosper. It also reflects my desire to address issues of class and privilege more directly this year. Some initial questions that arise include:
    • What am I doing to thrive, how does my work help others thrive too?
    • How can I more easily recognize “scarcity mentality” and embrace present-moment abundance?
    •  What’s wrong with making lots of money?
    •  How does money reflect, or not reflect, how I value my work in the world?
    Interdependence -   the quality or condition of being interdependent; mutually reliant on one another. [Here’sa cool video about one example of interdependence]

    This makes me feel so enormously joyful and grateful and safe. It is my antidote to despair. I have taught that everything is connected for 25 years and I certainly know body-mind unity. Yet it is only recently that I have been able to live in the flow of all that is (not constantly of course), sensing the complexity of how everything I can experience is interwoven and affected by everything else. We’re all in this together. Relevant queries might be:
    • How can I trust interdependence and act from that trust?
    • How does remembering interdependence help to develop compassion?
    • What do I gain from my fierce independence? Does interdependence negate that? How does my individuality fit in?
    • How does working with myself or one other person serve the whole of creation?
    • How does my work with groups reflect my understanding of interdependence?
    Love – There are so many definitions, as we all know. This is a link to some of them.

    I suppose this could or should be a guiding word every year. This year, I have reached a point where I need to understand Love in a fresher or deeper way. Like the song Both Sides Now, I really don’t know Love at all. I experience it, I share it, I crave it, I am provoked by it, I have potent memories of it, but honestly? It feels like I am just barely waking up to Love. I have so many questions, it makes me chuckle to think of it. Here’s a few:

    • Is Love our default setting?
    • Love can manifest any way it wants to. How do I cultivate Love skillfully?
    • What is the relationship between power, vulnerability, wellness, and Love?

    My three-word framework has already made a difference in my confidence level and my ability to relax into everyday living. Somehow, having these big ideas as reference points assists me in navigating my life. I look forward to learning more as I go and sharing what I discover.

    I honor the Light within you. Namaste.